There are many ways to avoid success in life, but lets see if I can put together a sureshot way to achieve it. You may be thinking that one has to do little to ensure failure, but the truth is you have to really work hard at being a “successful” failure.
10. Procrastination: The most sure-fire way to to become a great failure is through procrastination. Procrastination is a lifestyle, albeit a maladaptive one but it can get you there. To be a good procrastinator all you have to do is be over optimistic than others while estimating time. You have to learn tell lies to yourself such as, “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow or This thing needs more attention so I am going to have to do it next week whan I will be more free.” You have to actively look for distractions, particularly ones that don’t take a lot of commitment on their part like Orkutting or chatting.
9. Being the Frog in the well: Never try to expand your horizon. What do we need it for anyways. Remember that life doesn’t exist beyond your well and even if it does it shouldn’t make any difference to you. You never need to learn anything new….apart from what you already learnt in your well. That’s all you need to survive. Stay in the well. Have a nice time.
8. Listen to failures: Learn from the successes of other people. Its difficult finding failures around you. One way you can learn from other people is by listening to them. Learn how to genuinely listening to other people and DO not interrupt whenever they are saying something. Listen thoroughly how they got there, acknowledge them for their efforts and implement the same in your life.
7. Daydream: Yes! learn to exercise the power of your imagination by thinking in great detail how you can laze around not doing anything. Do this often and one day you will be surprised that your dream has already become a reality.
6. Make Goals: Hmm…you would say..that’s supposed to be a hindrance..but no it helps and in a big way. You have to make your life goals so big, that you just can’t achieve them. GO for the impossible!! This way you will never have to work towards it..and you can always have the pleasure of putting the blame on someone else that they couldn’t help you get your dreams [:P].
5. Learn to relax: Take it easy. Whats the big hurry? Being a failure is hard work. Not only that…people keep pestering not to become one. So learn to ease your mind. Close your ears ….and just listen to your heart.
4. Enjoy the journey: Life is a journey. Whats the point in working…working..and working. Enjoy life….laze around, take naps, do whatever..but don’t do anything that smells of responsibility or work. Ewww! Whats the point …we all are going to die anyways.
3. Never look at the watch: A minute gone into working may accidentally lead you towards success. Avoid it all costs. Throw away the watch. It’s the devils creation to wean you away from eternal happiness.
2. Take proud in your achievements: Take note and be proud of your successes in achieving failure. Remember the obstacles that you have overcome in the past. Remember all you had to go through…before you finally got there. Never let all the hard work go down the drain. The path to achieving failure is much more difficult than to achieve success, no one will be there to help you or even empathize with you. But you have to carry on. Be a proud failure and keep going.
1. Write blogs: Yea, waste time writing worthless posts like this. You can not only waste your own time…but also inspire an entire generation towards something they always wanted….a nap. [:P]
I guess that covers most things. 10 ways to achieving “failurehood.” Hope it helps.
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Credits: The historical information presented herein is gathered mostly from local guides that were re-inforced via historical writings.
